You Never Know What You're Gonna Step In!

I'm glad I always look down when I walk. It's not because I'm depressed or super short, both are also true. It's because I have three huge dogs, and in a warped Forrest Gump kind of way, in our house, you never know what you're gonna step in.

When I first exited the bedroom this morning with the pack, I saw the half dried pee. That made sense, or tracked, as the kids say, because we were attempting to keep Dulce out of our bedroom last night. She barked repeatedly, with the barks getting closer together, until we finally just let her in after joking about "timing the barks" and "she may be ready to push."

So, obviously, she peed while she was having her bedtime FOMO attack. I noticed the pee, and walked briskly to get the paper towels. That's when I noticed ALL OF THE BLOOD SPOTS.

Let me back up a bit, so my runaway thought train makes sense. Last night, when Dulce got up to go potty before bed, Heinz immediately started sniffing the couch where Dulce was sitting. I got closer and figured out why. There was a small circle of dried SOMETHING that smelled like crotchass. I cleaned it up, thanking the Universal Kittens that we had purchased leather living room furniture last month. When Chris came in with the dogs, I asked him, "are we sure that Dulce was fixed?"

Dulce is our Mexican Street dog. We ASSUMED that the rescue had her spayed, but we never really asked. So, I was thinking she got her period. Chris said, “But it’s brown.”

“Light periods can be brown, Chris.” I said, rolling my eyes, sure that the 115 pound dog was going to need Always for canines, and I was FINALLY going to talk him into replacing the carpet with tile.  

“It’s probably just anal gland leakage,” Chris said. This is really not a better issue to deal with, but it’s shorter lived.

While we were in bed, timing Dulce’s barks, I did my Google research and announced that Chris was correct, which he already knew, but for me nothing is true unless it’s double-dog (no pun intended) Google true.

Back to this morning when I was walking to the kitchen to get paper towels while dodging blood spots on the carpet and tile. There were so many of them, I considered connecting them with a Sharpie and Tik-Tok dancing around them for all the world to view on their chosen light squares. This might be how I FINALLY get on the Today Show.

But I digress. When I saw all the blood, I thought, “this bitch has her period. F*&^%!”  I grabbed the paper towels, and dodged the blood spots back to the hall outside of our bedroom and covered the pee spot quickly so Chris would not step in it when he exited our room. He does NOT look down when he walks. You’d think he’d know better by now, but no.

As, I was walking back to the kitchen to get a trash bag and Clorox, I heard, “Is this pee?”  Good, he saw the paper towels and did not step in it.

“Yes, and there’s blood everywhere,” I replied. “Are we sure she was fixed?” I asked as I got the hard floor steam cleaner out of the tiniest coat closet in the world, where we kept cleaning supplies instead of coats since we live in Phoenix.  

Then, Chris and I walked in circles in what can only be described as a “Sherlock Holmes fashion.” That’s when we saw Dulce’s toe bleeding. Shortly after that, we found her broken nail on the carpet. Mystery solved. The good news is that it’s a broken nail and not an impending spaying. The bad news is, it’s a broken nail and keeping her off of it will be FUN.

And how is your Friday going?