Speed Dating Love
Eighteen years and change ago, I did something that most hermits don't do. I went to speed dating. I almost didn't go, but my mom made me do it. I'm glad she did.
Speed dating is when you sit and talk to someone for five minutes, and then move on to someone else when the bell sounds. The first person I sat with was my son's dentist at the time. There were cards on the tables with the men’s names and the women chose where they sat. I was a single mom and I saw free crowns and braces in my future, I’m not gonna lie. He looked at me like he knew me, but I didn't volunteer any information. I had such hopes for a lifetime of free dental care, but the man was just so BORING.
I moved through a couple of other guys, including one who watched TV over my head the whole time. I guess I was boring to him.
Finally, I sat with the man who would be my husband. I didn't know that then. He was super nice and seemed interested when I mentioned having a son. When I told him I was a teacher and a stand-up comedian, he asked me, “At the same time?” and I replied, “Usually, yes.” In that short five minutes, we figured out that he worked with a woman whose son was in my class. I had a break after sitting with Chris so I went to the bathroom.
The bathroom was gross. What was I expecting from a bar? Plus, I was hungry and just exhausted from peopling. Anyway, being the hermit that I am, I took off. I just wanted to drive through McDonald's and go home and pee in a clean toilet. I thought that if anyone were interested in talking to me again, the woman who coordinated the event would put him in touch. Wrong!
A few weeks later when school started, Donnie's mom came into my classroom and said, "Chris wants to see you again." As luck would have it, I was dating the alcoholic loser real estate agent who bred his own dogs and gave me my Maltese. (That is going to be in the memoir.) So, I told Sherry, Donnie’s mom, I was already seeing someone.
Of course, that didn't last long. I don't deal well with alcoholic losers. :) So, I officially started dating Chris in January 2005. Three months later, we bought a house together, and nine months later we were married. I was NOT pregnant. My son walked me down the aisle.
Now, YEARS later, we are still happy. We all look a little different, especially the boy who has facial hair and lives in another state.
Sherry was a bridesmaid at our wedding.