All Dookies Big and Small
I have had poop issues for as long as I can remember. I think it started with the whole shitting myself on Main Street in Disney episode. I used to get stomachaches all the time, especially before school in the morning. I was always kind of nervous about going to school, and I was probably eating the wrong things for someone who was eventually diagnosed with IBS. I would have sweet cereal and milk in the morning, or sometimes eggs. Both of those were not good choices for someone with irritable bowels.
A lot of times, I would end up having stomachaches in school, too. This happened one morning in second grade. Second grade was a challenging year for me. It was my second year in public school, and also about a year after my mom had started dating Raul. I think the stress of everything was getting to me, and it seemed to land in my stomach.
It also landed in my schoolwork. For some reason, probably stress, I decided to stop doing schoolwork in second grade. I would just sit there and not do my worksheets. My two best friends, Audra and Jenny, would cover for me. They would push me to do my work and tell me to copy their work. I did, but even with doing that I ended up with bad grades. The teacher, Ms. Evans, would ask me if there was anything going on at home. I lied, like a lot of kids with A LOT of things going on at home.
After my mom received my report card and gave me a very threatening speech. I decided to start doing some of my work. One of the things I hated doing most in second grade was writing sentences. We had to do this with our spelling words every week. One day, when I was sitting at my desk trying to write ten sentences as quickly as possible, one of my stomachaches hit me. It was super crampy and I knew it wouldn’t go away unless I actually pooped. And I HATED pooping at school. At any rate, I got up quietly and walked up to Ms. Evans to ask her for the pass to the bathroom. She must have seen the look of pure public bathroom fear on my face because she gave me the pass quickly.
I walked down the hall to the overly yellow girls’ bathroom and took my seat on the toilet in the second stall. I closed my eyes to try to pretend I was not at school. I could see the sink area through the crack between the door and the stall wall. I knew anyone who walked in could probably see me, too. So, I kept my eyes closed and concentrated on pooping as quickly as I could. I was concentrating so hard that I didn’t hear the other girl walk in. I didn’t know that someone else was in the bathroom at all until I heard, “THAT’S A BIG DOOKIE!!” from above my head. I opened my eyes and looked up at an unfamiliar face. She was much bigger than me, probably in fourth or fifth grade. I just looked at her and tried to figure out how to get her out of there. I don’t remember when she left, but as soon as she did, I wiped my butt and ran back to class. I’m pretty sure I washed my hands, but I can’t be 100% certain. I may have contaminated doorknobs and my pencil out of pure fear. I was happy to finish writing my sentences after that. To this day, I would rather hold it than use a public bathroom.
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